Writing Sample

WALT:  Entertain

Description: We read the poem “My Remarkable Journey” which inspired us to write our own remarkable journeys about why our homework wasn’t at school today.

I was doing my Work on my bed in my room then suddenly a crazy 3 ,headed dog jumped through my window and it grabbed my home work! I jumped through the window it ran sooo fast then we ,got to a molten lava volcano, the 3 headed dog dropped it in the volcano, but just before it touched the lava, a lava/fire goblin grabbed it, and threw it to a eagle the 3 headed dog jumped, in to the lava trying to get the goblin, but it melted!

The Eagle went to a forest and dropped it.A deer caught it in its antlers as it got shot dead by a hunter! Then a hawk came to eat the deer but it picked up my home work and dropped it in a bunny burrow. But it was not a bunny that came out it was a baby dragon! It looked tame but then it grew bigger, and stronger it started attacking me it stood ,on my home work Picked it up and burnt it, with its firey breath it turned at me to breath its firey breath ,at me I ran and ran until I got to school and that MR Roter is why my home work is not here today oh, and I saw Taylor in the Forest! 
"CRAZY PUSS NOOO!!!" (But thats another story!)

Criteria:

We decided that a quality piece of writing has the following things. Reflect on whether these things are in your story:

Introduction: It hooks the reader in the first few lines making them want to read more

Punctuation: Is your writing ready for a reader? Does your punctuation make it easy for them to read?

Short sentences: Do you create suspense by using these in your writing?

Onomatopoeia: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Alliteration: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Similes/Metaphors: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Evaluation:

I think I got a orange Target because I did not Explain every thing only some.

1. What do you think is the best part of your story? The middle because it is a bit scary.

2. What was the hardest part about completing this portfolio sample? Picking the targets and seeing if the story has no words that are wrong in it.

3.  Next time, what is a goal you can work towards?More scary parts in it.

Feedback/Feedforward: Wow I really liked your story Olivia, I think you could improve on the end bit like Taylor in the forest cause I didn't get what you were saying. #Zara