My Camp Writing.

Purpose: To tell about an experience from camp, using short sentences to create suspense.

WALT: Entertain (recount)

Task: To write a recount based on something scary or suspenseful that happened to you.

Criteria: I canSelf Assessment

Peer Comment

Descriptive vocabulary (words that help to SHOW the reader) use a range of verbs√ use a variety of adverbs√ Language features (phrases that help paint a picture)√ select 2 - 3 similes√ select 2 - 3 metaphors or personification√ choose onomatopoeia to show sounds (crash!)√ use a range of verbs√ select words that start with the same sound (alliteration)√ Sentences use short sentences to create suspense√ Structure use 3 - 5 paragraphs.√

Name: Bella M Overall, how well do you think your learning partner has done? Comment:i think that your sentience could have a bit more wow!

Fears of highland home!

I heard that my group were going to another activity. I was so afraid my hands started shaking so hard i could not control it when we got there i sat down and waited then When it was my turn to go up  then i slowly went up the ladders to the very top of the Abseiling wall. I whispered to myself ‘You can do it! But what if i fall down!’ I wanted to run but then i got under the bar and looked DOWN!

 I felt dizzy like i had been ,hit on the head with a frying pan but that did not ,stop me. It made me feel scared but i took a step ,down then another and got to the end of the black grippy mat then went another step then i started jumping and jumping then when i got to the end my hair got stuck into my belt so i got really scared and wanted to scream but i did not scream!

I made myself go lower and lower and i told troy that my hair was stuck and he got my hair out of my and then he took off the chain and i went and sat down and waited for us to go to our next activity and i sore Alex doing huge jumps on the wall like a acrobat.